Feature: Coffee and Breakfast. Alone.

Friend: I’m going to the beach for coffee after this.

Me: Oh, that sounds lovely, who are you going with?

Friend: Myself; I’m taking myself on my weekly coffee date with me.

Me: What? Why? Doesn’t that get boring after like 2 minutes?

Friend: That’s exactly what everyone else says. But no, I actually really enjoy it.

Me: Right.

This little conversation happened about a month ago. And obviously, as you can tell from my reaction, I was a little confused as to why anyone would want to go sit alone in a coffee shop. Our conversation continued, and my friend explained to me how they would order their coffee, sit at a table facing the ocean, and drink their coffee. They always made a point of not going on their phone while doing this, not scrolling social media, and not getting distracted. Their time was devoted to them and their thoughts. Apparently, this is something they make an effort to do every week, even if only for 20 minutes.

Now, if you’re anything like me, you’ll be having 3 immediate thoughts. The first, ‘What? Why? That sounds a little weird. But also, kind of nice’. The second, ‘Do you need some more friends?’. And the third, ‘I’ve taken myself out for coffee before. Once. Last year. I mean, it was a grab n go, and I was only filling in time between appointments, but surely that still counts’. Okay your thoughts might not be exactly like that, but that was my thought process.

Interesting huh.

My first thought, I was shocked about why anyone would want to do this. It sounded kind of boring to me. My next thought, I wondered what was wrong with them. My third thought, I tried to defend myself, to myself. Making clarifications for when I’ve also done this apparently ‘good practice’ that, up until that moment, I had never thought about.

This may seem a little hard for everyone to do; take yourself out for coffee. But I think the point my friend was trying to get across wasn’t necessarily the ‘going out or the coffee’ bit. It was more so spending time with yourself. I know we always have people around us in one way or another, but they will come and go in your life to some extent. Perhaps you will go from seeing them every day to seeing them once a week. Maybe you’ll move away, or they will get a different job. You get my point; you are the one person in your life that will ALWAYS be with you. You literally can’t go anywhere without you.

So, you may as well get to know you a little better. I’m sure this is going to look very different for everyone, depending on how busy their life is. Going for a walk, going to a café for breakfast, having your morning coffee outside at home, making yourself a special lunch. It would look very different for everyone.

For me, I decided to try it. I took myself to a café and got myself coffee and breakfast. Did I feel a little strange? Yes. It was weird. But here’s some things I realized/learnt about myself:

1. I was watching how fast everyone else’s windscreen wipers were going to make sure mine weren’t unnecessarily fast. Why I cared? I don’t know.

2. I need to clean my purse out; it stresses me every time I see how messy it is.

3. I don’t particularly love nuts. I eat them, when they come on my food. But I don’t like them as much as I thought I did.

4. I should do laundry more. I can’t remember the last time I washed these jeans.

5. I rely on Google way too much. There were probably 10 things that came up in half an hour that I wanted to Google.

6. I make quick pros and cons lists in my head for unnecessary things. Like whether I want avocado on sourdough or an acai bowl for breakfast.

Anyway, I’m sure none of those things are particularly moving for you to read, but I found the whole experience to be interesting; in a good way.

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